Helicopter Parenting: A Damaging Trend
How involved is too involved? Do you helicopter parent your children? You think you’re being a good parent but you may have crossed the line from being interested to becoming a helicopter parent…being too involved in all aspects of your child’s routine.
While helicopter parenting (lawnmower parenting and Blackhawk parenting) are relatively new terms, the actions have likely been around as long as there have been parents and children. Helicopter parents hover over a child’s every activity; lawnmower parents mow down all obstacles in a child’s path; and Blackhawk parenting was coined for those who sometimes cross the line in parenting…even going as far as to complete a child’s college essay for him or her.
As a parent it’s natural to not want your child to struggle or face adversity or disappointment. You may need to step back and look at how involved you are in your child’s life. Are you trying to make everything easy? To pave the way for every possible object that may come into their path? Remember, your child needs to learn to stand on his or her own feet in order to be able to cope with what life and an eventual career may toss at them.
Are the paths in front of your child free of obstacles? Have you done your best to make certain risks are mitigated? Does your child skate through all events smoothly with no chance of failure? Your child needs to fail and to struggle in order to be able to savor achievements and rewards for a job well done.
Your child has a cell phone and you expect them to use it daily to keep in touch. Y ou demand a phone call prior to, and following, all activities. Does your child set an alarm to wake up for classes or do you call him or her every day to make certain they make it to class on time. Let your child learn independence…he or she will need it when entering the workforce.
A failing score on a paper or a grade not as high as you anticipated on a test was handed down to your child. Do you pick up the phone or dash off an email to the professor demanding an explanation as to the grade? Do you think it’s the professor’s fault that your child didn’t excel? Do you forget that your child’s grades should be based on his or her own dedication to studying, not your interference in the grading system?
Take joy in your child’s success and commiserate with them when they fail, but let them earn their kudos and take their lumps on their own. It’s natural to want to see your child succeed but help them do that on their own and the sweet rewards of success will be all the sweeter (and more frequent) for them.
Myra Lee is a middle school teacher. Like other teachers and administrators in her school, she earned an online degree and strongly believes in online education for working professionals.
